Happiness is when someone compliments your hair
When you see that smile, it’s contagious… and it grows into conversations, which grow into connections.
It took me a long time to learn this… making someone else feel good is a rush like none other.
One of my favorite things about being a barber is when I see my client take that extra second to look in the mirror and they have that “I like the way I look” manner to themselves.
When someone feels good about the way they appear to others, it goes much further than just a haircut, or a new shirt, or whatever.
Your hair looks great
EVERY (yes, I mean “every”) time I have complimented someone’s hair, the person does much more than smile. I can feel the mood brighten, and their head lifts up a bit.
When they say “thank you,” it is the most unrehearsed, taken-off-guard, and sincere thanks that I appreciate their hair… as if they are surprised that someone took their time to see it and to say something.
Why the hair?
Nobody’s hair happens by accident…
Someone can grab a shirt they know looks good and put it on without any real effort, or a pair of jeans. But hair requires a little time and a couple of decisions. Even the guys who say they don’t do anything with their hair are intentional about not doing anything with their hair.
- Curling or straightening hair takes several minutes.
- Locks take a lot of time to put in, and to grow… and the maintenance is labor-intensive.
- Getting hair to say to the side and/or back often takes a little product and time to get right
- A shaved head has to be maintained much more often
People spend time and effort on making their hair look a certain way on a daily basis.
A compliment is specific
“Your hair looks great” or “I like your hair” are good places to start. Yet when you comment on a detail, the compliment takes on a whole new level of kindness and connection.
- I like your locks… how long have you been growing them?
- I like the color in your hair… did you do it yourself?
- Man, your barber did a good job on your fade
- That is one epic beard! (I say this a lot)
- Your hair is so pretty… how long does it take to make it look this good?
A compliment is genuine – with no strings attached
Sometimes, the fact that I’m a barber comes out in the conversation – mostly because I am wearing barber swag. But – and this is very important – this is not about putting someone in my chair. This is 100% about them.
Let me put it this way (or as one of my dearest friends says, “here’s the Sinclair remix”): If you offer a compliment expecting something in return, you are being shady as hell.
When I talk hair with someone, I talk from a professional’s perspective. I talk about how good a job their barber did, or how good a job they did. In some cases, I’ll tell them that they need to give their barber a call because the fade is growing out.
I never offer my card… The moment someone gives their business card or IG or whatever, their “compliment” becomes a “salesman trick” and it turns people off.
I’ve had some of the greatest conversations while waiting in line at QuikTrip or at the grocery store… all from a simple comment about their hair, and them feeling better and having a nicer day as a result.
Let’s face it – we need more happiness spread around!
There’s a lot of effort in this world to make people feel bad in one way or another. However, if each one of us can make one person happier each day, how much better can it make the world? Even if it’s just our own world and the worlds of the people we impact?
When I was growing up, my mom almost always had the radio tuned to the Ludlow Porch show. He wasn’t one of those shock jocks or political “I’m right, you’re not” guys… he was one of those folks who just seemed to always have a good thing to say.
I remember that he would close out each show by telling the audience to go find someone to be nice to…
What if we all did that for just one person a day?
Try it, and let me know how it goes!